Aargh
09 Aug 2009 6 Comments
in MomTalk Tags: Gender stuff, Peeves
If one more person comments on the fact that my family will now be complete / perfect because I’m having a boy come November, I’m going to scream. ‘One of each kind, you’re so lucky’ is a statement I’ve come to hate with a passion. It’s killed my joy that I’ve having a little boy – a boy I wanted only for variety’s sake – not because having a male child will ‘complete’ my family.
I’m not kidding when I say I’d have been just as happy with another daughter, or even another two daughters and I wouldn’t go on endlessly having children trying to produce a male heir. Our Grand Plan includes three kids and I KNOW I’d have been perfectly content if all of them turned out to be daughters. Of course, we’d miss having a son because we wouldn’t have known what bringing up a boy was like but not because of the other, horrible, illogical reasons.
What depresses me is that these comments aren’t coming only from the older generation, who prized their sons, their male heirs – I could ignore those - but even from people who belong to our more global, free-thinking and even feminist generation – the generation that should be working towards a gender-wise egalitarian society. Still such a long way to go. Funnily, these comments are from women more than men. Most men comment about how cool it would be to share the joys of PS II / other gadgets with the new addition but thank God, nothing about how I’ve done my duty by my husband, my family, as a woman and wife, by having a son because that would drive me to the point of actual homicide.
I want these comments to stop at ‘one of each kind! congratulations!’ – I don’t want to hear anymore. I have three months to go and I want to spend it thinking happy thoughts instead of murderous ones.
talesofamotherkind
jammie
HMZ
Mona S.
shezahasan
mayG
Aug 15, 2009 @ 10:31:05
Awwww, sweets! Think about this though… (i’m going to be devil’s advocate) if you had a boy first, and were preggers with a girl now, would the reaction be the same? Lucky that your family is complete?
Sep 02, 2009 @ 11:19:40
I KNOW you’re right, sigh. I should just learn to ignore these comments. I got one just the other day, the gushing and the comments, sigh.
Aug 16, 2009 @ 04:52:47
=) I’ve heard it a million and two times from everyone and their grandma. i just say alhamdolillah and move on… MAINLY because hana did complete us in a weird way. i dont think its coz of the gender, but just having a second child, really made us a family, family. u know? before we were just imran and sheza and their lil buddy eesa. its weird to explain but ppl who know us, know what i mean
Sep 02, 2009 @ 11:20:41
funny Hina’s told me the exact same thing that having the second child completes the family, and I can’t wait to experience it. and seriously, alhamdolillah’s the way to go
Aug 27, 2009 @ 09:28:20
MONA YOURE SO LUCKY YOUR FAMILYS GOING TO BE COMPLETE!!! hehehe.
and h, to your question yes. its the do bachay hee achay mentality and it HAS to be one of each gender.
Sep 02, 2009 @ 11:24:07
it’s a weird mentality this whole one of each gender one. what if you have three? does having two boys and one girl complete the family better’ than having two girls and one boy? and what combinations and permutations would be ‘perfect’ or ‘complete’ if you had four or more, for that matter.